I recall being in my master bathroom one night, bent over crying, asking God to please help me. It may seem an odd place to ask the angels, God or Jesus, for help. Why not go to a church or take a walk in nature to find God?

This happened before, but not in private. Someone was confused when I tried to explain how I was feeling and they didn’t know what to say. Another person said dismissively that I needed to take a class in something. Both were not helpful. The fact is – I was having an existential crisis. I felt completely alone, like I was the only one to not understand why I’m here and what my purpose was. Soon, I would find out that I was not alone.

Some time after that night I read ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ by Elizabeth Gilbert. She writes she cried and asked God for help in her bathroom too. And a short time later I found ‘The Cynical Idealist – A Spiritual Biography of John Lennon’ by Gary Tillery. In it, Tillery writes that ‘Nowhere Man’ came to John completely, both music and lyrics and “soon after that he would be down on his knees in a locked bathroom begging God for a sign.”

The book delves further into John Lennon’s spiritual life and weaves the events happening in his day to day life while giving context to the songs he was writing during this time.

Have other people gone into their bathrooms looking for God, too? After all, it is the most private room in the house. There was no one to disturb me, no one to judge me. Just a one on one with God.

My existential crisis was a turning point in my life. Even though some things fell apart, they were meant to so that something new could come into my life. I didn’t know that then. Now, when it happens, I call it leveling up. When that leveling up gets difficult, I meditate, use divination tools or take a walk in nature, because reaching out to God or the angels or my spirit guides can be anywhere, not only in a bathroom.